July 3, 2018
‘Why are you doing this?’ Confused eyes peer at me over a steaming mug of coffee.
I paused to think. ‘Well, because I think it’s important to listen to the ideas that just pop into your head. Without dismissing them as impractical or trying to rationalize them.’ I cocked my head and squinted at Arthur. ‘Do you know what tithing is?’
Arthur, whom I had only met about half an hour ago, shook his head. I drum my fingers on the table, considering how to explain this. ‘My faith is very important to me. I’ve been taught that I should offer part of my earnings to God, as a sort of recognition that I’ve been blessed with them because of him, and so that my offering can be used to help those in need. My church collects offering each week, but I’ve never been very good about that. I always leave my wallet behind, or don’t have cash, or sometimes I don’t even have an income.
So about a year ago, this idea popped into my head, completely of its own accord. I was just finishing up a term studying abroad in Scotland, which I had created a savings account for. Since my trip was almost over, pretty soon I would have an empty savings account that I could use to start saving for something else, and I had some fun thinking of ways I could use it. First I thought of saving up to get a dog, then I decided to make it a traveling fund. I wasn’t even really thinking of the account at the time, but all of a sudden I had this idea, and I know it didn’t come from me. So, I decided that for a year, I’d put ten percent of each paycheck into this account, and then at the end of the year, I’d take a trip to Chicago and find someone who could use it.’
‘So you’ve been saving up for a year to have lunch with me?’ Arthur repeated, a smile playing at his lips.
‘That I have,’ I smiled back. ‘And I also have some basic needs kinda stuff I’d like to give you,' I said, pulling out a plastic bag filled with things like soap, toothpaste, crackers, and a pocket bible. ‘And when our meal is over I can give you a little bit of leftover cash. But for right now, I’d just like to enjoy lunch and visit with you a little bit.’
Arthur gave a soft smile at this. ‘Well young lady, I would very much enjoy that. Bless your heart.’
‘So, tell me about your life. How’d you… get here?’ A euphemism.
Arthur looked down at his plate, his shaggy hair falling into his eyes while he wrung his hands. ‘Well, I’ve been on the streets for eight months now, I guess. I, uh… it’s been hard for me.’ His bright eyes flickered up to mine, only to retreat back to staring at his hands. ‘We had a business. We - my wife and I - we were very happy. We were doing our life’s work. We ran a gallery. I was a photographer and she was a painter, so it worked out pretty well, I reckon.’ He smiled at the memory. ‘Business was thriving. We had raised it from the ground up, Laura and I, and after ten years we had really got it going. My son was six by then. He was at that age where it was really fun to be around him.’ He looked at me, and I could see the pride and affection in his eyes. ‘Percy had so many questions all the time, and he was just in complete wonder with the world. He wanted to know what everything was, who everyone was, what did they do, what did that do, how did that work.’ His smile faded, and his gaze returned to his hands. He became busy with wringing his fingers.
‘One day, I was at work late. We were preparing for a big party in our gallery the next day. We were celebrating ten years of running the shop. Laura wanted to stay and help, but I sent her home to start dinner and get Percy in bed. I told her to go home and relax, that I had it all under control.’ Arthur’s voiced cracked on the last word, and I leaned over the table to hear. ‘There was a fire in our apartment building,’ he said flatly, his hands finally going still. ‘It was a kitchen fire.’
A long moment passed, tears prickling my eyes, before he went on. ‘Our business failed. I couldn’t stand being there, I couldn’t stand the thought of it running without… of… of the world going on like nothing happened. After a couple months, bills started coming due and customers weren’t as eager as they once were to pay the man behind the counter. I’ve been on the streets and… in the dark… ever since.’
I nodded, pushing a bite of potato around on my plate, remembering that it had only been about a year and a half ago since spending some time in the dark myself. It was my sophomore year of college. Life had jumped out at me from behind a corner, pinned me to the ground, and sat on my chest, until I stopped struggling to get away. It had been more rare to have a good day than a bad day. At first, it had been irritation, or anger, or sadness that would ruin my day. Something small and insignificant would happen, and I would be left in a sour mood for the rest of the day. Eventually, my bad days weren’t filled with bitterness or disappointment, but instead with numbness. Even when nothing had necessarily gone wrong, I couldn’t force myself to be happy. I couldn’t force myself to appreciate the world around me, to take delight in the little things in the way that was usually so characteristic of me.
My goals started to fade from view; I cared enough to want to achieve them but not enough to actually take action. I was exhausted but I couldn’t sleep. I could remember laying in my bed in the middle of the day, doing nothing but staring at the wall and thinking miserably about what I should be doing instead. It felt like I was trapped where I was.
But I had gotten through. God had pulled me through, and I had come to be thankful for that time I spent in the dark because it made me realize just how much I needed the light.
My eyes came back into focus on my plate, and I looked up at Arthur, all whiskers and tattered, dirty clothing. My heart broke for him. I wish I could save him from everything bad in the world. ‘Arthur, can I pray with you?’
Arthur looked up from his hands and brushed a couple tears that had gotten away from him. ‘I would like that,’ he said through a broken smile.
I took his hands in mine. ‘Dear God, I just want to thank you for giving us the chance to come together and have lunch today. I pray for Arthur, Lord. Things have been really hard lately, and I pray that this is a time that Arthur can lean on you and find comfort in you. We know it’s not easy, God, and we know that it breaks your heart to see Arthur in so much pain. But we know that you are working in him, however hard that might be to understand. We know that you have a plan and a purpose for Arthur, and we know that you will provide. God, I’m praying that Arthur feels so loved by you and that your love is renewing and gives him the strength he needs. I pray that with your guidance, things start to look up for him. I pray that Arthur comes to know that you are so good, so full of mercy and love, even in the midst of something like this. Thank you, God, for giving me the chance to know Arthur. In Jesus’s name, amen.’
I looked across the table to Arthur and he raised his head. Through his tears, he looked back at me and squeezed both my hands in his, smiling at me so warmly that I will never forget it.
* * *
I received an email from Arthur a few months later:
Hi, it’s Arthur. How are you doing?
I’m doing a lot better than the last time we talked. I found a job with a delivery company and have even been able to find an apartment to rent! My job doesn’t pay great, but it’s a step in the right direction and I’m starting to get back on my feet.
I’ve been reading that bible you gave to me. It has become my favorite possession. Thank you so much for all your kindness. I’d like to start going to church. Do you know any good ones in the area?
Sincerely,
Arthur
I smiled before I typed back.
Hi, Arthur! So good to hear from you.
I know a good church in the area. On Sunday morning, do you want to meet at the restaurant we ate at before? We can have a quick breakfast and head to church together.
Arthur’s reply came only a minute later.
I would love that! Breakfast on me this time - my treat.
‘Why are you doing this?’ Confused eyes peer at me over a steaming mug of coffee.
I paused to think. ‘Well, because I think it’s important to listen to the ideas that just pop into your head. Without dismissing them as impractical or trying to rationalize them.’ I cocked my head and squinted at Arthur. ‘Do you know what tithing is?’
Arthur, whom I had only met about half an hour ago, shook his head. I drum my fingers on the table, considering how to explain this. ‘My faith is very important to me. I’ve been taught that I should offer part of my earnings to God, as a sort of recognition that I’ve been blessed with them because of him, and so that my offering can be used to help those in need. My church collects offering each week, but I’ve never been very good about that. I always leave my wallet behind, or don’t have cash, or sometimes I don’t even have an income.
So about a year ago, this idea popped into my head, completely of its own accord. I was just finishing up a term studying abroad in Scotland, which I had created a savings account for. Since my trip was almost over, pretty soon I would have an empty savings account that I could use to start saving for something else, and I had some fun thinking of ways I could use it. First I thought of saving up to get a dog, then I decided to make it a traveling fund. I wasn’t even really thinking of the account at the time, but all of a sudden I had this idea, and I know it didn’t come from me. So, I decided that for a year, I’d put ten percent of each paycheck into this account, and then at the end of the year, I’d take a trip to Chicago and find someone who could use it.’
‘So you’ve been saving up for a year to have lunch with me?’ Arthur repeated, a smile playing at his lips.
‘That I have,’ I smiled back. ‘And I also have some basic needs kinda stuff I’d like to give you,' I said, pulling out a plastic bag filled with things like soap, toothpaste, crackers, and a pocket bible. ‘And when our meal is over I can give you a little bit of leftover cash. But for right now, I’d just like to enjoy lunch and visit with you a little bit.’
Arthur gave a soft smile at this. ‘Well young lady, I would very much enjoy that. Bless your heart.’
‘So, tell me about your life. How’d you… get here?’ A euphemism.
Arthur looked down at his plate, his shaggy hair falling into his eyes while he wrung his hands. ‘Well, I’ve been on the streets for eight months now, I guess. I, uh… it’s been hard for me.’ His bright eyes flickered up to mine, only to retreat back to staring at his hands. ‘We had a business. We - my wife and I - we were very happy. We were doing our life’s work. We ran a gallery. I was a photographer and she was a painter, so it worked out pretty well, I reckon.’ He smiled at the memory. ‘Business was thriving. We had raised it from the ground up, Laura and I, and after ten years we had really got it going. My son was six by then. He was at that age where it was really fun to be around him.’ He looked at me, and I could see the pride and affection in his eyes. ‘Percy had so many questions all the time, and he was just in complete wonder with the world. He wanted to know what everything was, who everyone was, what did they do, what did that do, how did that work.’ His smile faded, and his gaze returned to his hands. He became busy with wringing his fingers.
‘One day, I was at work late. We were preparing for a big party in our gallery the next day. We were celebrating ten years of running the shop. Laura wanted to stay and help, but I sent her home to start dinner and get Percy in bed. I told her to go home and relax, that I had it all under control.’ Arthur’s voiced cracked on the last word, and I leaned over the table to hear. ‘There was a fire in our apartment building,’ he said flatly, his hands finally going still. ‘It was a kitchen fire.’
A long moment passed, tears prickling my eyes, before he went on. ‘Our business failed. I couldn’t stand being there, I couldn’t stand the thought of it running without… of… of the world going on like nothing happened. After a couple months, bills started coming due and customers weren’t as eager as they once were to pay the man behind the counter. I’ve been on the streets and… in the dark… ever since.’
I nodded, pushing a bite of potato around on my plate, remembering that it had only been about a year and a half ago since spending some time in the dark myself. It was my sophomore year of college. Life had jumped out at me from behind a corner, pinned me to the ground, and sat on my chest, until I stopped struggling to get away. It had been more rare to have a good day than a bad day. At first, it had been irritation, or anger, or sadness that would ruin my day. Something small and insignificant would happen, and I would be left in a sour mood for the rest of the day. Eventually, my bad days weren’t filled with bitterness or disappointment, but instead with numbness. Even when nothing had necessarily gone wrong, I couldn’t force myself to be happy. I couldn’t force myself to appreciate the world around me, to take delight in the little things in the way that was usually so characteristic of me.
My goals started to fade from view; I cared enough to want to achieve them but not enough to actually take action. I was exhausted but I couldn’t sleep. I could remember laying in my bed in the middle of the day, doing nothing but staring at the wall and thinking miserably about what I should be doing instead. It felt like I was trapped where I was.
But I had gotten through. God had pulled me through, and I had come to be thankful for that time I spent in the dark because it made me realize just how much I needed the light.
My eyes came back into focus on my plate, and I looked up at Arthur, all whiskers and tattered, dirty clothing. My heart broke for him. I wish I could save him from everything bad in the world. ‘Arthur, can I pray with you?’
Arthur looked up from his hands and brushed a couple tears that had gotten away from him. ‘I would like that,’ he said through a broken smile.
I took his hands in mine. ‘Dear God, I just want to thank you for giving us the chance to come together and have lunch today. I pray for Arthur, Lord. Things have been really hard lately, and I pray that this is a time that Arthur can lean on you and find comfort in you. We know it’s not easy, God, and we know that it breaks your heart to see Arthur in so much pain. But we know that you are working in him, however hard that might be to understand. We know that you have a plan and a purpose for Arthur, and we know that you will provide. God, I’m praying that Arthur feels so loved by you and that your love is renewing and gives him the strength he needs. I pray that with your guidance, things start to look up for him. I pray that Arthur comes to know that you are so good, so full of mercy and love, even in the midst of something like this. Thank you, God, for giving me the chance to know Arthur. In Jesus’s name, amen.’
I looked across the table to Arthur and he raised his head. Through his tears, he looked back at me and squeezed both my hands in his, smiling at me so warmly that I will never forget it.
* * *
I received an email from Arthur a few months later:
Hi, it’s Arthur. How are you doing?
I’m doing a lot better than the last time we talked. I found a job with a delivery company and have even been able to find an apartment to rent! My job doesn’t pay great, but it’s a step in the right direction and I’m starting to get back on my feet.
I’ve been reading that bible you gave to me. It has become my favorite possession. Thank you so much for all your kindness. I’d like to start going to church. Do you know any good ones in the area?
Sincerely,
Arthur
I smiled before I typed back.
Hi, Arthur! So good to hear from you.
I know a good church in the area. On Sunday morning, do you want to meet at the restaurant we ate at before? We can have a quick breakfast and head to church together.
Arthur’s reply came only a minute later.
I would love that! Breakfast on me this time - my treat.